reaching that point

okay, i love it here. i really do. i love these kids, i love the family, i LOVE stockholm - it's a much cooler city than most people are aware of - but i think i'm at THAT POINT. where i'm thinking that the great perks of this job really are wonderful - hello, thailand in 26 days? - but yet, being someone that absolutely loves working with children and connecting with them, i'm beginning to feel the strain of the language barrier. my kids speak english, understand it pretty well, but it's not their first language, and being that they're only 3, 5 and 7, they're still learning swedish, for crying out loud. the parents went out tonight with a big group of families, and before they all went out they had a "pre-party" at our house. one family brought their swedish nanny, and once the parents all left, my own kids were picking her over me to sit with, talk to, play with, etc. that's a hard pill to swallow, especially when you know that you're doing everything you can to connect with them. and i usually do, it's not typically an issue. i think they just liked the idea of having a swedish person around to talk to and play with, cause it's less work for them. sometimes getting these kids to use their english is like pulling teeth, so i know they don't like to speak it if they don't have to. it's all just wearisome to me.

plus, i've been missing home a LOT lately. i think it's the holidays; those are always the hardest time of the year to be away from family and friends. so, combining my homesickness with the frustration of tonight just makes me want to crawl under my ridiculously thick and warm IKEA down comforter and just go to bed.

which i think i'll do.